Its been a long time....

Its been a long long time since I've posted anything. So I say no time like the present to do something about that. I've had an amazing last two weeks I think its been. Let me recap for you.

The Middle School Retreat two weekends ago was so amazing. I learned so much that weekend. I learned just what selflessness is. Even though I learned what it was I'm still having trouble practicing it, but I'm working on it. I learned that its awesome to do what God wants you to do even if you don't want to do it. And that Chris, Kati and Sarah are insanly awesome. But I guess I kinda already knew that.

AP US History and Sociology are beast. They give me so so so much work and to top it off, my AP English teacher has decided to give us work now. Sucks. :( But I am learned stuff. Cool, Fun, and Interesting stuff.

Graduation is a year away but I'm so ready for it to come. Latly I've just been hating on CMS. And I don't really know why. I just am. This years graduation I could do without, I don't want my friends to leave, its tears me apart to know it will probably be the last time I see a lot of them.

I've got a friend who I think is mad at me right now. :( Which is a big downer, and I can't seem to figure out why. All I know is that she thinks I don't pay attention to her or something of that nature. I was talking to her I guess and then ignored her and started talking to someone else. I don't remember this happening, but I did hear this through the grape vine so it could be slightly altered. I just wish she would talk to me instead of doing this stupid slightly game treatment.

Music is always going to be the one constant in my life. Well that and God. Music gets me through a lot. I'm still super in love with the Cab and Nevershoutnever. But I learned about this Icelandic band Sigur Ros and I really like them. They are supper different than anything else I listen to but that's cool. I got a Third Eye Blind CD which is good, and Thriving Ivory CD. I had only heard one song off of the Thriving Ivory CD, but I really like it. And then Guns N' Roses Greatest Hits album which is of course awesome.

So that's been my life lately. Hope you enjoyed for those of you who read this. And there aren't many of you.

This Weekend.

I pretty certain I just had the best weekend of my life. I was at the PYC middle school retreat, and learned so much. I gained new friends and I finally understand the meaning of Live Brightly. I've also learned to true meaning of selflessness, which is huge. Chris, Sarah, and Kati all helped make this the best weekend of my life. I don't even know how to put it into words. I'll post another blog later when I calm down a bit.

Drama Drama Drama

I've been in some serious drama for quite sometime now. And I've tried to always take the high road and not let it affect me. But it does, and I don't always let people see that. But today it came out full force. I didn't know that there was so much that I didn't know. I feel like a horrible person. But I know I'm not the only one who was wrong in the situation. I was wrong a lot and we didn't even talk about that. Just how I've wrong her. And it made me feel like a horrible person. I mean a horrible horrible person. I feel like I've always put others in front of myself, but I've slipped up a few times. Who hasn't? I'm only human, I wish she would realize that. All in all though, I left school crying today. Not the way I wanted to end my day.

I got home though and put in my Switchfoot CD. Meant to Live was the first track and its always something that makes me feel better. The second song though "This is your Life" was one I hadn't heard before. Something about it made me feel better.

"This is your life, are you who you want to be?...Yesterday is the kid in the corner. Yesterday is dead and over....Don't close your eyes."

This isn't how I want to be. Or my life to be. I just want to be a normal teenager. And, I get drama is normal, but... I don't know. I hate it. I feel like crap. And I wish that people would understand though I put others before myself most of the time. I am human and have feelings too.

Spring Break

My spring break in most peoples eyes, has been horrible. But, I've personally loved it. I say only 4 of my friends the whole week and that was for a study group. I've liked not seeing my friends all week. Not that I don't love them all. But I've done some self discovery this week. I've changed a lot lately and I don't like some of the ways I've changed. I've become super selfish and that not a personality trait I ever wished to assisiate with myself. My new mission is to be selfless. To put others before myself always. That's they way I feel as if God and myself would want me to live my life. I need this time over break to just relax and take a step back and recap on my life lately. A lot of crap has been going on and I've been slacking on my end of a lot of deals. Which is not cool. Not only am I hurting myself, I'm hurting the person I promised something to. I'm gonna work on fixing that to.
I've learn a lot this break. So in my books this is an A+ spring break. :)

Thanks Chels for reading and commenting on my blogs. :)

One Day Without Shoes.

So no one reads this, but I adore TOMS shoes and I thought that I would tell you about it. For every pair of TOMS shoes that you buy they give a pair to a child in need in a third world country. Unfortunatly I do not own a pair of TOMS because they are slightly expensive. But I do plan on getting a pair now that I have a job...maybe two. Who knows. Anyways today is One Day Without Shoes, which I think is an awesome thing. YOu go however long you can without shoes so that you get a feel for how the children in third world countries feel without shoes. I can't go all day sadly because of work, but I will until the very last second that I absolutly can. So yeah, if anyone reads this go for One Day Without Shoes and discover just what people have to go through every day. :) :)

:(

Is feeling heartbroken right now. I like a boy that I always thought of as a brother. And he thought of me as a sister. Now, I'm left feeling... jealous? I guess. I don't know. Its a weird feeling. I've never felt this way before. I don't like it. :( But I know that God will help me deal with the new feeling and to grow from it. That makes me happy. :)

Haters.

So there are a lot of different things that you could hate about there in the world. And I mean a lot. But what I can seem to understand is the people who have massive celebrity crush. I have mine, I mean who doesn't. I'm talking about all those crazy obsessed girls out there who think they are going to marry that musician or actor one day. I mean come on get real.
Take for example Josh Farro from the band Paramore. He got married yesterday to his long time girlfriend Jenna Rice. I say congradulations. Other girls sit there bashing on her, without even knowing her. They think that Josh and Hayley the singer belong together. And that Josh should of married Jenna because she's a bitch and just using him for fame or what not. I say get over yourselves. If he love here, which judging by the pictures I've seen he does, then be happy for him. Everyone is allowed to get married, even if you are in a band. IT IS NOT ILLEGAL!
As for the fate of Paramore, that I do not know. Paramore has said that this is not going to effect them at all. But who knows. Other musicians out there are married and still continue to write and play and tour. So it is possible. I think that Paramore will still be around long after this. Again it is not the end of the world. And if Josh does decided to quit the band to focus on Jenna and a possible family in the future, fine. I would like to see him stay but its his life and he can do what he wants. We don't control him.

So my message to all the haters out there. Back off! Leave him and his beautiful bride alone.

Music.

So its late on Friday, and I have work tomorrow at nine. I work at Shoneys as a hostess, which isn't bad I guess. Its a job. Anyway I love love love music. Mostly stuff that is on Indie labels and would be classifed as scene and just very not mainstream. Not that there is anything wrong with mainstream, don't get me wrong. I love Lady Gaga, and Panic!, and Black Eyed Peas and Kelly Clarkson along with many others. My favorite just happen to be lesser known bands. Like All Time Low, Mayday Parade, We the Kings, The Maine and many others. Recently though I have been listening to other bands that I think are ah-mazing.
Nevershoutnever is probably my new favorite band. I could listen to Christofer forever and never get tired of him. He's just so inspirational. Even if his songs aren't always happy he just writes what he feels and what is going on in his life. He makes me want to be a better person. And he like super talented to top it off. He writes song that would make artist from the '50s and '60 proud. Plus, he refused to us AutoTune acording to his producer from What is Love? which is amazing because then its all natural.
The Ready Set, I have to admit I haven't heard my of his stuff. But, what I have heard is super good. Jordan W. (I can't spell his last name) is epicly awesome. He used to be very electronic(like Adam Young(Owl City)) but now he's just kinda pop, which is cool. His song Stay Four The Same is so so so good. I love it and he seems so sweet, I might even get to see him in May! :)
The Cab, is right now a few members short, but never fear the Alex's are still there. I feel in love with the song Bounce and now I love the rest of their songs. Even though Ian Crawford is gone and is playing with Panic!, I still love them. Hopefully their new album with still hold the same metal feel to it that Ian incorporated with his guitar. I'm not to hopeful though. Still Marshall, their piano player, and main write will still probably do an amazing job and have a lot of the old qualities to it.
Hey Monday is a band I said that I would never listen to. Now? I just love them. ITs a very different feel listening to a band with a female leader singer, when up to now I had only liked Paramore. And dispite what people might say Hey Monday and Paramore are not the same or even remotely close to being the same. Cassadee sounds so much different from Haley, and not even in a bad way. They have very different styles with is why I like both bands now, and think that both singers are amazing.
Speaking of Haley Williams and Paramore. I have fallen in love with them in the past week or so. I saw them last year on the No Doubt tour, and thought they were good. I knew the songs Misery Buisness and CrushCrushCrush and thought they were good. Lately though I have been listen to more songs like Ignorance and Brick by Boring Brick and That's what you get, and think that Paramore is awesome. They are very rockish,which is cool because you don't usually see that with bands that have a female lead singer. So now Paramore is one of my favorite bands and I have requested two of their CDs from the library so they will so grace my iPod. I do have decode on there because I own the Twilight soundtrack. TeeHee.
So this are my new favorite bands. I still love my old ones like the One mention about and others like Forever The Sickest Kids, and No Doubt and such. But its allways good to hear new music. I love the April edition of AP magazine because its their 100 bands you need to know edition. Which is sick becasue I have discovered so many new good bands that I can not wait to hear more from. So if you are looking for some new music pick up the new AP magazine. Even though only my friend Chelsei reads this,and she know my opinion on music. I enjoy doing this. Its fun to tell hypothetical people about my opinions. :)
So I'm going to bed now, but first I must listen to VersaEmerge, You're a Mean on Mr. Grinch cover and Every Avenue Think of you Later(in an empty room) So goodnight.