Holy Moly

Do you believe that sometimes things are sent to you for a reason? I sure do. And, yesterday and today were a good example of it. Let me tell you what happened....

I've always liked the band Tenth Avenue North. A comtempary, rock/popish Christian band. I was looking at their website when I was drawn into Mike, their lead singer, blog. I was instantly enthralled. He has been doing this "chapters", each one talking about one of their songs off of the Over and Underneath album. (Which is their old one, and this post were quite old.) I was drawn into the one were he was talking about the book of Hosea in the bible. Its was a book that I had never read, I only knew that Hosea's wife was a prosititue.

He goes on to tell the story. Hosea had prayed and prayed for a holy, pure wife to come. He believed that was what God was going to give him, after all he was the prophet of Isreal! God however had different plans. He told Hosea that he was to marry, as my bible puts it, someone who practices whoredom. Hosea was shocked. Gomer, the one he was to marry, he was told was going to sleep with other men and sell herself. And he was to go and buy her back everytime. She was going to bear other mens children, and Hosea was to love him as if they were his own.

So Hosea does all of this, not happily I might add. We learn though, and I haven't actually finished reading the story I'm getting most of this from Mike, that this is symbolic of God's relationship with us. We go out and do things to take ourselves away from God, and he has to go and buy us back. Time after time after time. Hosea's love, Gomer, hurt him everytime she went out and sold herself and he had to go buy her back. But God does this with us all the time. And, not just us! Every single person on the planet. And it kills him, each and every time.

Ezekiel 6:9....how I have been broken over their whoring hearts....

Broken. God broken? His heart break over us? That's crazy. We go and sell ourself, like a whore in a sense, and God has to buy us back. And, it breaks him. That's hard for me to wrap my mind around. Not only do I break him everytime I do something wrong, we all do. He must be a heart broken man, and we are the cause for it.

We sell ourselves out to the newest fashion trend, the newest music, or the hot guy at school. Thinking that if we could just get that CD, or that new Shirt from Hollister, we will have everything we need. That it will fufill us. God is the only thing that can truly fulfill us. Anyway, I have been looking forward for weeks to getting my lisence. And today was the day. Only we arrived there and didn't have the right insurance papers. So we called and no one could help us, so we got in line and to reschedule my appointment and I prayed that the lady would call us back. Nothing happened.

I was sitting in the card on the way home, not talking because I was afraid if I did, I would snap at my mom. Something I didn't want to do because she didn't deserve it. I was praying and the story of Hosea pop into my head. Hosea shows us that God will break us, hurt us, ruin our plans, rip us into peices. Out of a pure and holy love. I prayed all day leading up to my test that God would let me pass. I prayed that the lady woudl call us back. And God didn't let me have what I wanted. He torn apart my plans to lead me back to him. I wanted him to give me something that I WANTED, when all I NEED is him. Just like God gave Hosea a prositute for a wife, to show Hosea all he really needed what him.

I realized on the way home that in reading Mike's journal(s) about this, and reading Hosea, that I really need to think more about what I want and what I need. I didn't need my lisence but I do need God. So maybe it just wasn't time for me to get my lisence. Or maybe God need to show me something else. On the way home, I realized something about myself that stopped me in my tracks. I was insanly upset over not getting my lisence. Almost to the point were I wanted to cry. (I know, I know, silly) But never, not once in my life, have I ever felt that way about not reading my bible, or forgetting to pray. I've never been almost ready to cry about not getting closer to God. The one thing that I need.

That blew my mind. How can I have forgotten that I shouldn't be feeling this way about material things, but I should be feeling it about God. Jesus says, (And I'm paraphrasing) "Do not store up treasures for yourselves on earth where thieves can break in and steal, but in heaven where thieves do not break in and steal" So I guess the reason I wrote this was to just tell you guys my little story. I'll most definatly go back and break God heart over and over again, I know that. I'm not perfect. No one is. But Jesus Christ, died for us. He who knew no sin, died for us sinners. So I realized that maybe God meant for me to read the story of Hosea yesterday to perpare me for today. After all, that's a pretty big coincidence, so I think God might of had a hand in that.

For anyone who got to the end of this, Thanks for reading my rant. :)